The Frugal Dater

Have you noticed lately that some of the free online dating sites are now offering paid upgrades to show that you’re serious? Well I’m going to call a spade a spade, they’re calling it being a “featured” member. I read in an article or two that the creator of Plenty of Fish, Marcus, was getting upset that he was loosing out on money because he was offering his site for free but every other dating site had some kind of pay for play option. Also that he had one of the biggest user bases. So all the sudden out of nowhere there started to be these yellow dots appearing on people’s profiles.

What they said in the Forums

If you read in the forums, most of the people (actually women) who got this upgraded status in the beginning as “Featured” members, it was given to them for free.  Some didn’t even want it when they gave it to them.

Sometimes I wonder if paying for a free dating website makes you look a little more on the  desperate side then that I’m serious about getting an on-line date. It’s like the scarlet letter of online dating that you have to pay to stand out because you’re not getting enough contact already.

The first step of online dating is definitely a numbers game – whether you’re a guy or a girl.

If you’re a guy then it’s how many emails and or winks are you going to have to send out before you get contact back, and then out of those that contact you back how many can respond in a way where you want to actually meet in person to take them out on a date?

If you’re a girl – then it’s usually the opposite – it’s how many crappy / horney emails do you have to dig through before you find someone decent (and hot) enough  to respond back to, because let’s face it – Shakespeare could write you back but if the picture he posted looked like he’s in line to be on the next season of The Biggest Loser or something similarly scary – it’s going right into trash.

One website took a different approach

One website took note of this and built something totally different (see our writeup / review of herway.com)

Now there are plenty of good pay sites for online dating out there. As the old saying goes – you get what you pay for AND nothing in life is free.
(That’s why we’re not called the Free Dater, rather the Frugal Dater)

On that same note, there’s some pay sites that are just a pure waste of money, and all they do is seem to bleed your credit or debit card dry. Then right as your membership is about to expire or it’s time for renewal, that’s when you get a new match or email sent your way. Awful convenient (for them and their billing dept). If you don’t keep your subscription going then you just have to wonder if that’s the one you let get away.

If you’re looking for something specifically however, like someone with the same religious background for instance, then on of the specialty sites might be a better bet.

Also the median income of the paid subscriber base seems to be much higher then those of the free sites. (After all you don’t need any kind of income stream for a bill that’s zero per month)

The Bottom Line

The bottom line seems to be this – test out your profile skills on some of the free online dating sites if you’re just getting your toes wet (or if you’re needing to make the choice between going on dates or paying for the utilities).  We have a list of the truly free dating sites along with reviews available here.

Then if you feel you have a great profile pic and text to attract the right person and need a better pool of fish move to the right type of pay site, but don’t just upgrade on a free site to get more exposure.

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